


Taking Advantage

by EnchantedApril



Series: A Superlative Life [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-11 22:04:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7072291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnchantedApril/pseuds/EnchantedApril
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Does Cat take advantage of her employee-slash-girlfriend?  Lucy seems to think so, and Cat might want to reevaluate her behavior before it's too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Taking Advantage

Cat Grant decided that she liked Lucy Lane much better when she was working for her rather than ordering her around like one of her agency's lower-ranked peons.

She hadn't even seen the woman in over a month and had forgotten that despite her diminutive size, she could be as intimidating as a pit bull. Especially when she was in full uniform instead of jeans and a sweater with pizza in one hand and a Pictionary card in the other like at the last game night Kara had insisted she attend.

Decidedly un-casual looking Major Lane was currently in her office because over the weekend, Supergirl had been involved in a very lengthy and surprisingly bloody fight with a Fort Rozz alien just off-shore from Cat's beach house. The alien had first attacked the house, which naturally Kara had not taken kindly to, and then the fight had escalated and kryptonite blades had been revealed.

It was nothing that the DEO and Supergirl hadn't handled before, but Cat had been petrified when Kara had flown back to the beach and proceeded to collapse in a heap, blood soaking into the sand and being washed out with the frothing tide. Kara might have been lying when she told Cat that it was nothing she hadn't handled before. When Alex and a squad of agents had arrived to whisk her away for repairs, Cat had refused to let go of her and had insisted on climbing into the helicopter with her, pushing everyone else out of the way. It wasn't exactly standard protocol for being introduced to the DEO headquarters, but Alex had been perhaps slightly worried about Kara and a lot shocked at Cat's demeanor, and so the Queen of All Media had gotten an impromptu tour of her lover's side-job offices.

Major Lucy Lane had not been pleased.

So now, two days later, she was standing in CatCo, one hand on her hip and the other thrust forward with a stack of very official looking forms clenched in her fingers.

"I assume those are for me to sign while placing one hand on a Bible and swearing never to reveal anything I saw on Saturday?" Cat said dryly.

"Good guess," Lucy replied, walking forward and dropping the papers onto Cat's desk.

Before Cat had a chance to make an acerbic comeback comment, the glass office door swung open with slightly more force than necessary, and Kara walked in carrying pages of layouts and a steaming latte.

"Ca - Ms Gra - Cat," she stuttered, knowing the rule about no first names around other people in the office, but also seeing that the unexpected "other person" was Lucy who already knew about their status as a couple.

"I'm sure you didn't barge in to quiz me on my name," Cat said with an exasperated sigh.

"No, um, no," Kara replied, eyes darting from her friend to her girlfriend-slash-boss before settling on the latter. "I have the article about Supergirl's latest fight all finished, and I even managed to interview five people for a human interest-type sidebar," she said, sounding pleased and shy at the same time.

"Yes, well if it hadn't happened three days ago, that would be more impressive, but it should be able to make it into tomorrow's edition," Cat said, reaching for the layouts, seeming to forget that Kara had only been released from the DEO medical wing that very morning.

Kara's cheerful expression dimmed somewhat, and she placed the drink on Cat's desk beside the papers Lucy had dropped there earlier.

"Right, true," she muttered, half to herself. "Um, I picked you up a latte on my way back. Still hot."

"Thank you," Cat said without any enthusiasm. "I'll need it just to finish out the afternoon."

"Okay, well, I'll get back to my office," Kara said, cheery smile still on her face though it no longer reached her eyes. "Good to see you, Lucy. Tell Alex I'll stop by after work."

"Will do, Kara. Take care of yourself."

Lucy watched Kara go, before rounding on Cat.

"You know, you really are bitchy sometimes."

"Excuse me?"

"You saw how happy she was. How excited to have done something extra for you. And you just stomped all over it as if was nothing and then criticized her for not doing something else."

"Pffft. She's not as sensitive as you assume. She knows it's just work. Outside the office is different. We've already discussed it. So if you're done with the relationship advice?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold the phone. You've discussed it?"

Cat rolled her eyes.

"Yes, we've discussed it. She took one of my office tirades a little too personally once and when I saw how upset she was when I got home, I told her that it was just business and that she needed to toughen up. She's Supergirl. I'm fairly certain she can handle it.

Lucy just shook her head.

"Wow. You aren't just bitchy. You are a full-on first-rate bitch."

"Are you hard of hearing? Did you not understand what I just told you?"

"Oh, I understood it all right. Your girlfriend, who just happens to be the most powerful woman in the world, gets treated like crap by you every day. And when she dares to let it bother her, you brush her off and tell her to deal with it. Heaven forbid you change your ways to make her happy. You know, the way she rearranges her entire life to make you happy."

"As usual, you don't know what you're talking about," Cat scoffed, although inside, the niggling seed of doubt was planted.

"So you say."

"Yes, I do."

"Fine, but don't be surprised if one day she decides she's had enough of your "just work" attitude and decides to quit. And then you'd better hope it really is different at home, or she'll start second guessing her place there too."

"Are you sure you didn't come in here to give me relationship advice in addition to some pointless non-disclosure agreement about your not-so-secret government agency?"

"You know what? No, I didn't. Look it over that paperwork and send it back to me via Kara before the end of the day, or you can forget ever being allowed back to the DEO when your girlfriend is injured saving your ungrateful ass. And don't forget what I said or that might not even be an issue for much longer."


	2. Chapter 2

After Lucy left, Cat spent considerable time trying to ignore what the woman had said. She really didn't need someone keeping tabs on her relationship or giving her tips on how to keep her girlfriend happy. Unfortunately it was a slow day, and her thoughts kept slipping back to the brief and unpleasant conversation. It was made more unpleasant by the fact that Cat knew that Lucy wasn't completely misguided.

Before she and Kara had officially started dating, there had been a period of hesitant dancing around one another. It was actually Cat who had been most concerned about the difference in their status. Not, as one might assume, because she saw Kara as beneath her, but rather because she was afraid that the power dynamic between them was too ingrained and she didn't want that playing a part in any romantic relationship they might have. One of the first things she had told her was that she needed to be less perfect as her assistant and less afraid of disappointing or upsetting her.

It had worked, and they had carefully eased into a surprisingly comfortable relationship. Cat had assumed that promoting Kara would only help things. The younger woman would no longer have being at her beck and call as one of her job duties. And at first it had worked out beautifully. Not working side by side all day made the evenings and weekends all the more special. Cat had watched with pride as Kara's professional confidence grew along with her talents. 

Yet somewhere along the way, she had slipped back into careless callousness where Kara's work was concerned, and the little touches of personal affection had all but disappeared from the office.

It wasn't that Cat treated Kara horribly or said anything to her that she wouldn't say to any other employee, it was the fact that she held Kara to a completely different standard than the other morons who worked for her. She liked to tell herself it was just her way of pushing the other woman to be her best, but the truth was that she just couldn't break the habit of berating those around her, and the closer they were, the harsher her criticism became. Kara's willingness to just take the harsh words in her stride only encouraged Cat to up her game.

Cat didn't want to admit it, but Lucy's astute observations after witnessing a mere minute of interaction really struck a nerve. She was hit with the memory of treating her ex-husband almost exactly the same, until finally he had tired of putting up with that treatment and had just packed up and left. She and Kara had only been together for a matter of months, and already she didn't want to think about that scenario playing out before her once again.

Years of therapy had led her to the unsurprising revelation that her own mother's behavior towards her played a large part in her actions. She'd been given therapy "assignments" to keep journals, visualize alternate scenarios, put herself in the other person's shoes, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. She had found all of those methods to be patently ridiculous and had never followed through. Now, however, she was thinking about how Kara must be feeling after another undeserved harsh rebuke, and she hadn't even consciously chosen to wonder about it; she'd just found herself picturing the other woman sitting in her windowless office and staring at her computer screen. It gave her a feeling of loneliness and made her think about how often Kara had spoken to her about her feelings of inadequacy and years of never feeling at home except in the presence of her sister.

Cat knew, rationally, that there was no way of knowing how Kara was actually feeling at that moment, but it didn't keep an uncomfortable feeling of guilt from settling in her chest. She stood from her desk and walked across her office with long, determined strides.

"Hold all calls, Missy," she said with a wave to her newest assistant Michelle, and walked towards the elevators, then took a right to go around the corner to Kara's office.

The door was open, as it almost always was, and Kara was indeed sitting at her desk, staring at her computer with a contemplative expression on her face. Cat felt the guilt rising, but all at once, she savagely choked it back before saying anything so ridiculous as an apology. She had told Kara that her in-office criticism was nothing to get upset about or carry home with her, and if the other woman couldn't handle that then maybe things just weren't going to work out between them. She'd already stopped ordering Kara about like a servant and demanding impossible things. How much more was she expected to change?

Even as the thoughts flitted through her brain, she knew how unreasonable that all sounded. As if treating anyone, much less the woman she loved, with care and respect no matter their location, was asking too much of her. But Kara chose that moment to look up, and Cat couldn't sort through her thoughts and feelings fast enough to say anything more than,

"You mentioned that Alex wanted to check you over? I thought being released meant that you're back at one-hundred-percent."

Her words came out sounding much more clipped and disinterested than she'd meant, as if even Kara's injuries were just an inconvenience. The flash of surprise followed by stoicism that passed over the superhero's face was uncomfortable to witness, but Cat still refused to change tack. Advance, advance, never retreat.

"Right, well, umm," Kara stalled for a moment before her glances at the doorway led Cat to shut the door, giving them some privacy and causing the other woman to take a long breath.

"My apologies," Cat said, because really she should have known better than to start talking about such things in less than complete privacy, but still feeling the need to maintain business formality.

Kara ignored the confusing mixed signals Cat was sending out, and told her, "The kryptonite blades that cut me went pretty deep."

Cat already knew that, remembering with stark vividness the blood and the helpless feeling that had come over her and the demands she had shouted at the DEO physicians.

"But your healing ability..." she trailed off, regretting that she still knew so little.

"They helped, and I'm almost as good as new. That's why they let me come to work today," Kara explained, "but I'm still not completely healed. Small bits of kryptonite were left in my body, and it takes time for me to filter them out. Alex just wants to make sure no infection sets in in the meantime."

Cat's eyes widened.

"You mean you're walking around with those wounds still there?"

"I told you. They're pretty much healed now," Kara said, trying to sound blasé about it but Cat wasn't fooled.

"Let me see."

"Cat, we're at work. You said no - "

"Let. Me. See," Cat replied sharply, and Kara just blinked and slowly lifted up the bottom of her pale blue sweater.

There were five long lines incised on Kara's torso, pink, and yes, mostly healed, but still raw and tender looking, criss-crossed with steri-strips.

Cat sucked in a sharp breath and made to reach out with gentle fingers, but quickly pulled her hand back, suddenly feeling as if she didn't deserve to touch that pale skin.

"You've been working here and traipsing around the city getting interviews with those..." she waved at the injuries.

"It was only a few interviews," and Cat was struck by Kara diminishing her work in the same way she had done just a short time earlier. "It's not a big deal," Kara insisted.

"A not big deal that Alex insists on checking."

"You know how overprotective she is," Kara said, trying to brush it off.

Cat merely nodded, seeing Kara lying on a sterile bed at the DEO and feeling a sudden horrible tightness in her throat. She gave a quiet cough to clear it before speaking.

"But you'll come home after?" she asked, although technically Kara still had her own apartment, so the penthouse wasn't really her home.

"Well, if it's late, I might just stay there. I don't like to disturb you," Kara said, glancing down at her desk and appearing fascinated with her fingers which were moving nervously on its surface.

"Carter will miss you," Cat said, immediately cursing herself for making it sound like Kara's job extended to entertaining her son instead of admitting that she was the one who would miss her.

Kara looked up at the mention of the boy she had quickly come to adore.

"I'll definitely try to come," she said.

But when the evening came and went and passed into night, Cat knew that Kara wasn't going to be flying through her balcony doors. She stood for a moment with the sheer curtains twisting around and behind her, the moon illuminating everything with it's white-blue light. She sighed, long and mournful before closing the doors and retreating to her bed. She spent much of the night tossing and turning without Kara's comforting arm to anchor her in place.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do my stories always end up longer than I plan? This is a short chapter but it was only supposed to be a half-page scene before moving on. What can I say? Alex has a mind of her own and isn't afraid to speak it.

It was almost nine-thirty in the morning before Cat discovered that Kara wasn't at work yet. That couldn't really be considered an oversight on her part because she has all but forbidden the other woman from bringing her a morning latte after her promotion. At the time, they had shared a quiet smile and then a tender kiss. Cat had been determined to let Kara know that this was a real promotion and that she wasn't expected to do two jobs at the same time. Well, not two jobs at CatCo anyway.

James was actually the one who was responsible for letting her know about Kara's absence. He had stopped by the glass-walled office looking for her, with a handful of photographs for an article they were working on together. When he'd told her that Kara's own office was currently unoccupied, she had assured him that she'd find the girl and send her his way. That had been almost an hour ago.

She had left multiple voice-mails, emails, texts and had even ventured out to her balcony and scanned the skies for a familiar flash of blue and red. She hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary on any news outlets; certainly nothing that would require Supergirl's assistance. She had done everything short of calling her driver and having him take her to Kara's loft. Which was why she now had her phone in her hand, and Alex Danvers' number splashed across the screen. She took a long breath before hitting the 'call' button and holding the phone to her ear while she walked back out onto her balcony.

"Alex Danvers," came the clipped greeting after only two rings.

"Alex, it's Cat."

The two of them had been on a first name basis for months. They were actually quite friendly most of the time, sharing both an affection for Kara and a love of teasing her until she blushed and stammered. They also recognized in one another a similar brand of gritty toughness. Neither of them had gotten where they were the easy way. However, a sharply inhaled breath was enough to tell Cat that this wasn't going to be one of their more congenial conversations.

"Looking for your employee?" Alex asked sharply.

"I'm looking for Kara, yes. She hasn't come in yet and I can't reach her. Is she with you?"

Cat attempted to keep her voice evenly modulated. She wouldn't get anywhere by lashing out in her usual take-no-prisoners way.

"No, she's not with me," Alex answered. "She's at the base, probably still hooked up to an IV in the med bay if she knows what's good for her."

"What? What happened now?"

"I was afraid that one of her wounds would become infected and last night it did. She spiked a fever and I rushed her in just after midnight."

"But she was fine," Cat said, utterly confused. "I mean she was healing and she had all her powers."

"Yes, but those wounds were caused by kryptonite and traces of kryptonite were still embedded in them. Her fast metabolism means she heals quickly, but it also means that things like infections and kryptonite poisoning spread through her body much faster than they would a human's."

"I- I had no idea."

"I don't even think she had any idea. She's only been hit with kryptonite one other time and that time I practically kept her strapped to her sun bed for forty-eight hours and away from any outside contaminants."

"I never ordered her to come in yesterday," Cat suddenly felt the need to defend herself, even as the larger part of her was consumed with worry.

"Yeah, well you didn't have to," Alex said, the slight softening in her tone was immediately replaced by harshness.

"Excuse me?" Cat refused to just accept the guilt that was clearly being foisted upon her.

"If she finds out, she'll kill me for telling you this, and then I'll come back from the dead and kill you, so keep that in mind."

"Telling me what?" Cat said with some exasperation. She detested drawing things out.

"She spends half her time with me stressing out over her new job."

Cat scoffed, "That is hardly my fault, and it isn't exactly a unique experience."

"Cut the crap. I know how you talk to her, Cat. You think Lucy wouldn't tell me what she saw the other day?"

These was silence from Cat, because she really didn't know whether to deny or proudly admit her Queen of All Media persona.

"I genuinely like you, Cat, and I know that you and Kara had worked out a lot of the things that worried me about her dating her boss. But now it's like you're out to prove that you aren't giving her preferential treatment, and you're proving it by treating her like dirt again. She spent an hour last night just making me read the article she gave you yesterday, grilling me for suggestions to make it better, and upset that she hadn't finished it earlier and done a better job. For God's sake, Cat, she'd just left a damn hospital bed that morning!"

Cat had her eyes closed, and the fingers of her left hand digging into that spot near her temple that always seemed to be the source of her headaches.

"I never intended - "

"She loves you," Alex interrupted, and Cat sucked in a sharp breath and then heard Alex curse quietly. "You two have still never said the words?" she asked in disbelief.

"We may have danced around them..."

"Well I have known her for half her life, and I love her too," Alex told her, "and I know that she is terrified of disappointing you at work because she thinks that she'll lose not only her job but also her relationship with you. And frankly, at this very minute, I'm not sure that that wouldn't be healthier for her in the long run, but she's my sister, and I will always fight to keep her happy, and you make her happy."

"She makes me happy too," Cat whispered, feeling all of the righteous indignation just wither away.

"Then start showing it, dammit," Alex said, forcefully but not unkindly. "Just because she can take your verbal abuse doesn't mean she deserves it."

Cat let out a very long sigh. "I am trying, Alex. It's not easy to change overnight, even with Sunny Danvers waking me up in the mornings."

"I know. Just.. Try harder."

Alex couldn't see her nodding, but took her silence as acceptance.

"Will she be able to come home tonight?" Cat asked, suddenly too tired to worry about semantics. Alex already knew where Cat considered Kara's home to be.

"Last I heard, she's improving and should be released later this afternoon," Alex told her. "Oh, and I'm the one who forgot to bring her phone with us to the base when I brought her in. She asked me to get it for her and to call you, but let's just say that I forgot."

"You're a good sister, Agent Danvers," Cat told her.

"She doesn't always make it easy, but I try."


	4. Chapter 4

For the rest of the morning, life at CatCo continued on as usual. Cat snapped at her assistant, bickered with a board member, drank two more lattes and went through countless pages of copy with her red pen in hand. Truth be told, she was probably slightly more productive than when Kara was in the office, because her thoughts weren't straying to excuses to swing by her office or email her for her opinion on one thing or another. She was so involved in her work that she barely noticed the slightly hesitant knock on her door, and only spoke when it became louder.

"Yes, yes, Missy, you may take a break. I know you couldn't possibly miss a coffee date with that Neanderthal boyfriend of yours from sports."

"More like my girlfriend, and last I checked, she was definitely not a Neanderthal."

Cat's head snapped up and she saw Kara standing in her doorway with a cheeky grin on her face. Maybe it was that grin, so casual, as if Cat had been worried sick about her just hours earlier, but words flew from the older woman's mouth before she could stop them.

"Kara, what the hell are you doing here?"

Okay, that wasn't exactly what she had intended for her first words to the blonde.

Looking instantly alarmed, Kara appeared to shrink into herself.

"Um, I work here? Still? Right?" she said, half playfully but with just a touch of worry.

"Yes, well I spoke to your sister and she proceeded to tell me that I'm working you too hard, and that you never should have left your bed yesterday," Cat told her, acidly, leaving out any of her own feelings of guilt, insecurity and worry.

"I.... Did not know that she did that," Kara said slowly.

"Yes, well next time you might want to keep your phone with you so that I wouldn't have to track you down when you disappear."

Cat turned her eyes back to her work, a clear dismissal, even though nearly every molecule in her body was telling her to shut the hell up, apologize profusely and pull Kara into a hug even Supergirl would be able to feel.

Kara looked at her, concerned and a bit confused. She wasn't an expert in reading people, but she was an expert in Cat, and she knew that there was so much more going on in that head than the terse words revealed. She wished, not for the first time, that mind-reading was one of her powers. She didn't think that Cat was actually angry with her, though she was perhaps irritated with her sister. She made a mental note to talk to Alex and ask what on Earth the two older women talked about. Ultimately, she knew that any time she was injured, Cat worried, and she could only assume that all of this was tied into that. Unfortunately, that didn't make her feel any better after Cat's next words.

"Do you think you'll be able to actually finish out the week, or should you just hand off what you've been working on and trot on back to your bed?"

Kara's eyes widened. With all the slights and barbs Cat had thrown her way, she had never indicated that her "other job" was interfering with her job at CatCo. Kara had been so very careful to never let it be an issue, or to give anyone an excuse to accuse her of being allowed to slack off because she was dating the CEO. So to have that effort so casually dismissed was more hurtful than she wanted to admit.

"Ummm... No, I'm fine now. Really," she added at Cat's raised eyebrow. "I'll just go to my office and look over the photos James left for me."

"Yes, you do that," Cat said, with as much emotion as if she were speaking to her doorman.

Her fist tightened around her pen, and she started to get up, planning to move to Kara's side, and guide her to the balcony and then beg her forgiveness for acting like a complete ass.

But when she looked up, Kara had already gone, and she was left to gaze after her and whisper, "I'm so sorry," while hoping that the younger woman's ears were still tuned into her voice.

For the rest of the afternoon, Cat continued to shove down the voice in her head that kept telling her to go find Kara. Strangely, that voice sounded a lot like Alex. Instead she repeatedly told herself that the office was not the place for the discussion they needed to have, and that she would go to her at the end of the day, insist on Kara accompanying her home, and then try to sort through everything. As six o'clock rolled around, she plucked the glasses from her face, neatly folded them and placed them in her bag, along with her laptop, and tried to look casual as she checked her appearance in the reflection off her desktop when she stood.

The bullpen was half-empty already, and the muffled sounds of the office shutting down for the night gave Cat a certain feeling for comfort and familiarity. She was just making the turn towards Kara's office when flashes of blue and red appeared on one of the overhead monitors, followed by a breaking story alert. Supergirl was currently engaged in a fight near the warehouse district, where another being - alien or human-powered hadn't been determined - was using some kind of weapon to set fire to buildings indiscriminately.

Cat marched back to her office while pulling out her phone, a fierce look on her face. She dialed a number which only a very few people even knew about.

"You tell me to stop taking advantage of your sister, and now you have her involved in some fight with inferno-man?" Cat hissed, the moment she heard the line picked up.

"Cat? What the hell? How the hell did you get this number? No, never mind... I'm kind of busy right now, in case you hadn't noticed!"

"No, I noticed that SUPERGIRL is busy. I have no idea what you are doing, and I don't much care. Now I will repeat myself, which I hate to do, and ask again: What is she doing out there when you just told me this morning that she needed time to heal?"

"Yeah, well you may not know this, but she doesn't always listen to me," Alex replied, voice full of sarcasm.

"Well what are you people doing to help? You accuse me of hurting her and what are you and Baby Lane doing? At least she wouldn't die from a sarcastic quip! Your shady government agency just uses her like some machine!" she shouted, and then finished, much more quietly, "You don't have a monopoly on being protective of her, you know."

"I told you, Cat, we didn't send her over there. She heard something and took off on her own. She didn't even contact us until she was already there." 

Alex was tired and angry at Kara for flying off without backup, but she was trying to be patient with Cat. This protective side of her wasn't something she saw often. 

"We're en route right now, and should be there in less than five minutes. So it would be really helpful if you could get the hell off the phone and let me do my job."

Cat watched as Kara was blown back by a spectacular blast of flames, and she couldn't keep herself from letting out a sharp gasp.

"Alex," she said, and she was angry and embarrassed at how her voice cracked, "please..."

The other woman let out a breath and her voice came through softer and with the understanding of someone with long experience in watching someone she loved throwing herself into danger.

"We'll be there in just a minute, Cat. We'll help her. She left the base in perfect health this afternoon. She'll be okay and I'll send her home the second this bastard is in custody."

Cat knew that a thank you between them was unnecessary, and instead cleared her throat before saying, "Take care of yourself, too," and hanging up the phone.

She wanted to keep watching the fight play out on the screen, footage courtesy of the CatCo helicopter reporter. Instead she forced herself to leave, wanting to make certain that she was waiting at the penthouse before Kara arrived. Her driver pulled up only a few minutes after she stepped off the elevator and into the lobby. It was slightly past rush-hour, so she anticipated a relatively quick ride home, but the battle being fought in the sky had managed to snarl up traffic all over the city.

The noise and heat and commotion in the streets would have distracted most people, but Cat's eyes were fixed firmly on her phone, watching news updates pop up on the small screen and squeezing it so tightly that her knuckles went white. And suddenly it hits her like a blow to the chest, that battles like this one, where Supergirl has once again thrown her life into danger, always precede Cat's hyper-critical behavior around Kara. Of course there are other things, every day annoyances and restless nights and coffee that's gone cold before she can finish it, that also trigger her tendency to employ her biting sarcasm and short temper on anyone in earshot, but seeing Supergirl - KARA - in danger, throwing her life into peril for people who certainly cannot always deserve such selflessness, is what makes her pull back from the woman, place an unbreachable wall between them and hurl insults from the safe confines of her solitary realm.

She always told herself that she was ultimately protecting Kara. She told herself that she was too old, too caustic, too experienced, too busy, too much the mother of sons who could be Kara's brothers in age. Her pushing was for Kara's own good, because the younger woman would be much better off with someone else. She had always known, in the darkest, quietest place in herself, that really she was just too afraid. And every time she saw Kara put in harm's way, that deep, dark part of herself trembled and tried to lock itself up tighter, because by God, losing Kara would be something from which she would never recover.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phew! A very long chapter to wrap all of this is up! I received a comment questioning Kara's sanity for remaining with Cat, and I have to admit that this story has had Cat act especially poorly towards Kara. I hope that this final chapter will make up for some of that and not leave anyone believing that Kara should either dump her sorry rear end or sign herself up for serious therapy!

People usually assumed correctly that Cat Grant had clawed and fought and worked her way to the top of her field and the ownership of her empire. They assumed incorrectly when they thought she had no regrets. In fact she had many, it was just that very few were related to her career. No, her regrets almost always centered around her personal life, her relationships, her inner voices. Cat would say that it had taken years and years of therapy and not a small amount of alcohol to be able to forgive herself for most of her mistakes and to at least move on from the ones she couldn't forgive. 

From the very start, she had expected that her relationship with Kara would end sooner rather than later, and she had also expected that she would be the cause and that it would be another tally in her column of regrets. Expecting that and now seeing that any ending would come not so much out of magnanimous efforts to get Kara to find someone better, but instead from fear-based self-protection, was a horrible thing. Part of her had always known, of course, that she resisted letting people get close to her because she feared losing them, but this was self-destructive on a whole new level.

And the saddest part, she thought, was that ever-patient Kara would probably just continue to take the abuse that was heaped upon her. She would never leave unless Cat unilaterally ended things. But Cat was coming to realize that she would never be able to do that, and so all of her deflection, all of her scathing remarks and criticism and pretended indifference would never "help" Kara to see that she belonged with someone better, and would instead only hurt the both of them deeply and thoroughly. The thought made Cat shudder. She could not be responsible for that. She had to do more than just try to change, and she needed to start immediately.

When the car pulled up in front of the penthouse, the fight between Kara and her latest adversary had been over for almost a half an hour. Cat knew that following a fight like that, Alex would insist on a full physical and paperwork in triplicate, so when she heard low laughter as she entered her private domain, and then saw the source of that laughter, her eyes widened in surprise.

"Hey, Mom!" Carter called out. "Kara's just started helping me with my math homework. She knows way better ways to do these calculations, but she says I need to show my work the way the teacher wants it, but at least I'll be able to check my answers using Kara's method."

His words tumbled over one another in stream of consciousness fashion, while Cat marveled, as usual, at the physical closeness between her son and Kara, and the fact that he was smiling and joking around with the younger woman.

"That's great, honey," she told him, glancing at Kara and noticing the smile that reached all the way to her eyes.

For a brief moment, silence fell over the apartment as the two women looked at one another and the teenage boy looked at both of them. Social skills were not his strong point, but even he could feel a charge in the air between them and he started gathering up his things.

"I'm just gonna take this and finish it in my room," he said, "so you guys can talk or whatever..." He trailed off, but by then he had everything in his arms and was heading down the hallway.  
Even after his door closed with an audible thump, the two women remained silent until Kara finally spoke.

"You don't mind I'm here, do you? Alex told me you were expecting me, but if..."

Cat dropped her bag, her pocketbook and her phone and turned the five strides across the room into four. Then her arms were wrapped around Kara, squeezing hard, face buried into a strong shoulder with a muffled sound of surprise reaching her ears. Kara was never one to turn down physical affection though, and so her own arms quickly looped around Cat's waist and she rested her cheek on the top of Cat's head, breathing in the scent of her shampoo.

"Are you okay?" Kara finally asked, feeling very wanted but also somewhat confused.

Cat nodded and took a long, deep breath before saying, "We need to talk, but I needed this first."

Immediately stone cold fear wrapped itself around Kara's heart.

"Why do we need to talk?" she asked tremulously. "Is this finally it? Are you - "

Cat knew where that sentence was going and immediately cut her off.

"Oh God, no. I'm sorry, Kara. No, this is not "it" and I am not breaking up with you."

A rush of words passed over Kara's lips, and Cat assumed that they were the Kryptonian equivalent of "Oh, thank God," because Kara held her tighter and placed delicate kisses in her hair.

Cat let out a long sigh before saying, "The fact that you immediately jumped to that conclusion is part of what we need to talk about."

Kara tensed slightly and said, "Is this a conversation I should be nervous about?"

"That depends on whether or not me admitting I've been an ass makes you nervous."

"Well, it makes me a little nervous," Kara said. "Have you hit your head recently? Because altered mental state is one of the key signs of a concussion."

Cat felt the stifled giggle pass through Kara's body and swiftly pinched her waist.

"That was for teasing me. I still owe you a lot more for scaring me this afternoon. I think my stylist is going to find grey hairs when I next see her."

"You know I barely felt that, right?" Kara asked, her tone light and still teasing.

Instead of answering, Cat leaned back slightly, snaked a hand up and behind Kara's neck and pulled the taller woman down for a long and heated kiss.

"I think you felt that," she said with a smirk when they parted.  
Kara swallowed and took a breath before replying, "Yes, yup, definitely felt that."

"Come," Cat said, reaching down for Kara's hand. "We still need to talk and you should get the last rays of sunlight after that fiery throw down you just went through."

She gently tugged and then led the way out to the balcony. She watched Kara move to her favorite chair, positioned where it got the most sunlight all day long, and thought about how many of their most serious conversations had taken place on balconies. After this she would be able to add one more to the tally.

Kara looked over at Cat questioningly.

"Umm, are you going to start this talk? Because I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be saying and it is making me a little uneasy."

Cat nodded and sat down on the chair next to Kara's. She was actually glad that they weren't sharing the sofa, legs pressed up against one another. She needed at least some small physical distance or she'd never get through the whole speech she had planned.

"Yes," she answered, "I'm going to start, but I expect you to speak up later, and none of your usual 'yes Cat, whatever you say, Cat' agreement. I am going to just put myself out there, and I'd appreciate it if you'd do the same, or at least try."

It was easy to see that Cat had switched from her slightly playful mode right into serious mode, and Kara nodded and tried to be patient because she could see now just how very important this was to Cat. Everything about this situation was making her uneasy. She and Cat didn't have serious relationship discussions, at least not since the very beginning when they were trying to find their way around each other. Since then it was as if the first rule of their relationship was to never discuss their relationship. Kara had confronted her about where they stood only once, after a particularly rough day at work, and the subsequent speech about separating work from home was still imprinted firmly in her memory, even if she very often failed at such compartmentalization.

For her part, Cat was watching Kara's very obvious nervousness displayed in fidgety hands, tense back and wrinkled brow. It all made her feel worse than ever about her ridiculously poor relationship skills, while still managing to brew some anger at Alex for not calling her on her behavior months ago. God knew that Kara never would have done so.

She reached across the small space between them and placed her hand on Kara's thigh, wondering if maybe sitting together on the sofa might have been a better idea after all.

"Kara, relax. This is not about anything you've done wrong, and I told you this is not about breaking up." She took in a suddenly sharp breath and went on in a rush, "Unless that's something you want?"

"No!" Kara exclaimed vehemently. "I mean, no, it's not. I just don't understand what this is all about. Is it because of the fight you and Alex had yesterday?"

Cat shook her head. "No. Well, not directly. Your sister just forced me to start thinking about things I should have been aware of already. Namely my own insecurity and my poor behavior towards you because of it."

Kara was surprised, and it showed in her expression and her words, "Cat, what are you talking about? You're the most self-assured person I know. If anyone has issues with insecurity, it's me. You know, the one who flies around in a red cape doing everything from fighting inferno-men to assembling furniture, and still needs positive affirmation from the city."

"Yes, well you have a point there, and we do need to work on your self-esteem, but that's really not the issue here. The issue is that I have been acting like a blustering fool towards you and you have borne it with your usual patience and grace, but it needs to end."

Kara opened her mouth to interrupt but Cat held up her hand to stop any contradictions.

"You know I'm speaking the truth, Kara, so don't try to downplay it. I berate you at the office for work that would be considered exemplary coming from anyone else. I put down your accomplishments and don't give you the credit you deserve, and even here at home I always hold back; letting you lead in any affection and giving only as much as I get, and not an iota more."

"Well, yes," Kara insisted on speaking, "but you're just trying to make me better at what I do, and I know that. And I've always known that I'm the touchy-feely one," she gave a wry little smile, "even Alex used to say I was like a little Kryptonian puppy."

The light in Cat's eyes dimmed and her expression turned remorseful.

"No, Kara. I've even tried convincing myself that my behavior has only been for your own good, but it's not the truth." 

She took a deep breath and gathered her hands to lie clenched on her lap.

"The truth is that I've been acting abominably and it has nothing to do with something so altruistic as your professional advancement, and everything to do with my rather pathetic attempts to make myself feel better."

"Better about what? You're already, like, the most powerful woman in the city - okay, maybe second most powerful - and amazingly smart and talented and gorgeous. What do you have to feel bad about?"

"You, my dear, will always see the best in me," Cat said with a smile, but the smile was a sad one, "but what you don't see is a middle-aged woman with multiple failed relationships behind her, a company that's become almost my entire life, and a large hole in my heart that only you have managed to fill. And every time I see you out there, putting your life at risk and throwing yourself into unimaginable danger without a second thought, it makes me realize that I could not bear to lose you."

Unable to sit still while she saw Cat becoming so withdrawn and sad, Kara used just a small burst of speed to gather Cat into her arms and onto her lap.

"But I'm not going anywhere, Cat. You aren't going to lose me, not without a really, really big fight, and I think you know how hard I can fight," she said, trying to tease a smile out of the other woman.

"Kara, that is what you say now, and I believe you. I believe that you will always try to come back from any supernatural encounters, but what then? In the back of my mind I think that I have always been trying to prepare for when you will tire of my irascible ways, my pointed sarcasm... my age... And so I put you down in the only place I still hold power. I push down your accomplishments so that you will think you are lucky to have your job. Lucky to have this relationship. Grateful for anything I give you," she scoffed at herself before saying, "I am the lucky one, Kara, and I am sorry. Truly. For ever making you doubt your worth to everyone you come in contact with and especially to me."

After she finished speaking, Cat turned her face towards Kara's shoulder, hiding herself there although Kara was astonished to feel what she felt was the warmth of tears through her shirt. She couldn't think of a single thing to say, because what Cat had just told her was so beyond the realm of anything she had expected. So they sat in silence for several long minutes while Kara gathered her thoughts and Cat clung to her in the way she usually only did after a particularly harrowing Supergirl battle.

The sun slipped down behind the silhouette of National City, throwing out bold splashes of color as it went. Pink, lavender, red, yellow and orange reached out from beyond the horizon, and Kara watched them blaze and then begin to fade with the coming night.

"I..." she began hesitantly, "I was not expecting anything like that," she said slowly.

She held on to the woman in her arms just a bit tighter, and Cat sighed before extricating herself from those comforting arms and returned to her own chair. She needed Kara to speak her mind freely, without her own neediness influencing her.

"And how do you feel about it all?" she asked, schooling the hesitancy from her voice.

"It's just that I had no idea all of that was going on in your head," Kara said, reaching up to fiddle with glasses which had been abandoned in the livingroom and settling for coming her fingers through her hair.

She glanced down at her lap and took a slow breath.

"I have to tell you that over the past couple of weeks I have been wondering if all this was going to work out - if the two of us - I mean - "

"I understand," Cat said, cutting her off to spare her further awkwardness. "I'm only surprised you didn't go through with it," she continued, shrugging one shoulder. "I've been pretty insufferable."

"Well..."

Cat looked at her with one eyebrow arched high.

"Okay, yeah, sort of. And it was confusing because I thought we were past all of that so then I just thought maybe you were getting frustrated with my "millennial issues" and my - "

Cat held up her hand. "Please stop," she said quietly. "I have a relatively good idea of the sorts of things you were thinking and I just don't want to hear you talking that way about yourself... knowing that I helped put those thoughts in your head."

Kara looked at her with a tiny shrug of her own.

"I think you give yourself too much credit there," the young blonde said. "I've been an awkward outsider for a long time."

"Exactly why I shouldn't have preyed on insecurities I already knew you had," Cat replied, rubbing a hand over her eyes. "I am only wondering what kept you from making a clean break from me, from CatCo, from all of it."

"Alex," Kara said simply, and watched the shock rush to change Cat's expression.

"Your sister told you not to break up with me?"

"Well, I wouldn't go that far," Kara said with an adorable chuckle. "She just told me that maybe I should wait and see if you ever tried to talk to me."

Cat wasn't sure when she had last felt so grateful towards another person, and she mentally started a list of things to do to thank the elder Danvers sister.

"And now that I have?" she asked, not exactly certain of what to expect.

Kara's brows knit together again, as they had at the beginning of the conversation. She was silent for a minute and Cat watched her with rising anxiety, clenching her fingers on her knees.

"I think I understand, but I need to know what you really feel for me. I mean, I don't want to put you on the spot, but I think you know how I feel - "

"I love you, Kara," Cat said before Kara could finish her sentence. "More than I thought I could. So much that it scares me to death every day."

Blue eyes grew wide and Kara stammered a bit, "I - Well - Okay then. Umm... Wow. So, you..."

"Love you," Cat repeated. "Yes, and I'm sorry you've ever had a reason to doubt that."

"I love you too," Kara said in a rush. "I know you probably already guessed that, but I wanted to say the words."

Cat actually blushed, just faintly, smiling her soft smile as she tilted her head and said, "Thank you. I think I actually really needed to hear that."

"Well, I'll tell you as often as you like," Kara said, her trademark smile lighting up her face.

"That would make me very happy, but I think we still need to talk about - "

"About how you've been treating me," Kara said, putting on a serious expression even when her fingers itched to just pull Cat close and kiss all of their problems away. In the long run, that wouldn't really fix anything, and she knew that.

"Yes, that," Cat affirmed. "I have set up a therapy appointment weekly, and I intend to put considerable energy into changing my behavior," Cat told her. "I don't want to tell you to help by telling me when I overstep, because that smacks of blaming the victim, and you are not to blame. You should not be responsible for correcting my actions. So instead, I am just going to ask you to try to be patient and if you do want to tell me off, I don't want you to ever be afraid."

Kara nodded, recognizing that what Cat was saying was a huge, huge step for her.

"I can do that," she said, "and, y'know, I think Alex won't be shy about telling me to tell you off."

"No, she probably won't be," Cat answered with a gentle laugh.

The two women sat in silence for another few minutes, looking first at one another and then out to the city, where stars were now visible in the sky, along with a moon which seemed especially large hanging over the ocean.

"So... Are we okay now?" Kara asked without turning to look at Cat.

"Are we?" Cat asked, for once not afraid to let the fear show in her voice.

Kara stood up and then turned and reached down for Cat's hand, pulling her up and into her embrace in one smooth motion.

"We are," she said, holding Cat closer when the older woman slumped a bit and rested her head against her collar bone.

"Thank you, dear," Cat whispered. "I know I don't deserve you, but I will try."

"It isn't about who deserves who," Kara said, realizing something which brought with it a surge of confidence. "It's just about loving each other and doing our best to make each other happy."

"Then I will spend the rest of my life doing just that," Cat said in an uncharacteristic show of sentimentality.

She tilted her head up and reached to cup Kara's cheek in the palm of her hand.

"I believe you," Kara said, "and I look forward to it."

Leaning forward, she captured Cat's lips with her own and her own promise to love and care for Cat was clearly evident in her kiss.


End file.
